30 Things Porn Has Taught Us
- Women wear high heels to bed.
- Men are always rock hard and ready to go.
- When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
- If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
- Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
- Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-age men.
- Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.
- Women always orgasm when men do.
- A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
- All women are noisy fucks.
- People in the 70’s couldn’t fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
- A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman’s butt.
- Men always groan “oh yeah!” when they cum.
- If there is two of them, they high five each other (and the girl isn’t disgusted!)
- Double penetration makes women smile.
- Asian men don’t exist.
- If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won’t have even the slightest problem with you jamming your cock in his girlfriend’s mouth.
- Nurses suck patient’s cocks.
- Men always pull out.
- When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she’ll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of us.
- Women never have headaches. Or periods.
- When a woman is sucking a man’s cock, it’s important for him to remind her to suck it.
- Assholes are clean.
- Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man’s trouser and find a cock there.
- Men don’t have to beg.
- When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman’s head and the other proudly on his hip.
- Every guy has a penis as big as Peter North.
- All women are completely bald.
- Any girl with pigtails is a teen.
- Any other girl is a MILF.
